Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
now i know why i became what i already was.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
