God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
