After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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