I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
