We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
