Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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