I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
