You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
