Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
