Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
