so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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