We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
