redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
