yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize