Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
