Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
