you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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