I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
