too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
