My underwear smells like fireworks.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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