garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
