Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
