You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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