Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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