I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
