I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
