ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
