Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
