My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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