they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
