So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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