Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
