I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
