It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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