4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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