I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
