i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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