Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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