Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
