Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
