I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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