Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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