Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
