I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
