just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We have so much sex to catch up on
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
