She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
