so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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