i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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