What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
