i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
