why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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